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How to Write a Eulogy 


Kabosu was the very essence of understanding, of humor, of style, of memes. All over the world she was a symbol of discerning alertness and rebuke. All over the world, she was a standard-bearer for the chuckles of internet addicts—a very Japanese Shiba Inu who transcended nationality.

Kabosu had a round face like the citrus fruit she was named after, and like the tangy kabosu, Kabosu brought zest to the many side dishes of our lives. On our smoking breaks, in emails and drunkenly sent texts, in the toilet, Kabosu was there. She was not just a dog but a Doge, and the first of her kind. Someone with a natural nobility who was classless, and yet proved that she needed no royal title to continue to generate her particular brand of meme magic.

Kabosu enjoyed sofas, sideways glances, and Likes. She would lounge and think in her distinctively non-grammatical style, making vague, impressionistically connected comments:

She let us express our dreamy, muddled thoughts in all their complexity and variety. She let us literally represent how a picture can be worth a thousand words, rather than just a brief LOL caption. If there was a lifetime achievement award for memes, Kabosu would deserve it—in a world of too many memes, she was actually a pretty good one.

We have all despaired at our loss over the past months, and only the strength of the message you gave us through your years of giving has afforded us the strength to move forward. Today is our chance to say "wow" for the way you brightened our lives, even though Kami-sama granted you but fourteen years of life.

We all feel devastated, yet we must learn to be grateful that you came along at all. Only now that you are gone do we truly appreciate what we are now without you, and we want you to know that life without you is very, very difficulty. Very sadness. So tears.

Do not disturb.

Artur Witkowski


Chuckle - (笑い声を抑えようとした静かな) クスクス笑い、含み笑い

Deserve - (~を) 受けるに値する[足る]、(~の) 価値がある、(~に) ふさわしい

Devastated - 非常にショックで悲しい、精神的に打ちのめされた、精神的にひどく落ち込んだ

Discerning - 判断力の確かな

Doge - 昔のベネチア・ジェノバ共和国総督

Eulogy - (特に死者に対する)追悼、賛辞

Meme - インターネットを通じて広まる情報 (画像、映像、単語、表現など)

Like - 〔インターネットで〕いいね!

LOL - (laughing out loud) 大爆笑だ、 大笑いだ

Lounge - ゆったり座る、ぐったり横になる、ブラブラと過ごす、ブラブラと歩く

Nobility - 貴族階級

Rebuke - 叱責、懲戒、非難





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